26 March 2014

Being Boo


Southeast of Stockholm there’s a football club called Boo FF. Imagine the chants at home games Orient fans.

Russell Slade was angry after the 1-1 draw against Oldham yesterday. The late equaliser one reason to be fuming but most of all he was mad for being booed at full time. I think it’s OK to show emotions, but manager and supporters both could do with a bit of, think before you speak, humble pie.

There are definitely times when teams deserve to be booed off the pitch. Yesterday was not one of those moments. Even more frequent are the occasions when fans deserve criticism for what they perceive as support. A manager should defend his team but also realise that a stand of supporters has a pretty low combined IQ. It cannot be argued with in any usable fashion. Just don’t go there Russell.

If you fall into the supporter category that have trouble seeing the whole picture and need instant gratification. The option to project your disappointment onto somebody, or something else. Well then, make Boo FF your team of choice. Win or lose you still get to boo. Always go home happy, proudly flying the burgundy and black of Boo.

Orient threw away two points yesterday. That’s my opinion. If you disagree it’s fine to argue with me. You may not boo. Because even though the effort was less than stellar it wasn’t indifferent or bad enough to warrant jeering. Orient should have put the game out of sight during the first 30 minutes of the second half. But our attackers are far from deadly at the moment. Lisbie cannot hit the target. Mooney can but opts for spectacular and fails. Dagnall and Simpson are the terrible twins at the moment. A for effort, F for finishing. The only reason to pick Chris ahead of Robbie is that the former has a better historical goal scoring record. That’s how I pick my teams anyway.

Until automatic promotion is truly impossible, as in: We cannot finish in the top two! I call bullshit on your schemes to rest players in preparation for the playoffs. Slade should field his best starting eleven from those fit. Fight to the finish. Charge of the light brigade. If you think this Orient team cannot surprise us you haven’t been paying much attention during the last year or so.

Seven games to go. It may end in the playoffs. Whatever. Stand up for the Orient. Cheering all the way. Save the negative stuff for a cold rainy day in November. Sharing an away end with 25 other Orient fans watching the team being dumped out of the Johnstone’s Paint by Bury. The score line 0-4 with 20 minutes to go. Then you can moan. But only then!

On my way to work this morning I passed a redhead that smelled like candy. Boooo!

24 March 2014

Blazing Saddlers

or never give a fan an even break!

Considering the two earlier meetings between Orient and Walsall this season I wasn’t expecting a goal fest. On the other hand, when the afternoon played out as a mockumentary about ghosts of Orient’s past, I was confused and a shower of goals would have been preferable.

The opening 45 minutes of the game obviously trying to win an award for lacklustre performance of the season. In fact the commentary made my mind conjure up memories of seasons gone by when this was standard fare as far as Orient was concerned. I even went so far as giving these flashbacks a name and a cast.

Blazing Saddlers

A 2014 satirical Orient football match led by Russell Slade, starring
  • David Mooney as Ryan Jarvis
  • Chris Dagnall as Robbie Simpson
  • Dean Cox as Jason Demetriou
  • Lloyd James as Paul Terry
  • Scott Cuthbert as Stephen Purches
Introducing Kevin Dearden as Mongo. Cameo appearances by Eldin Jakupovic, Mathieu Baudry, and Moses Odubajo.

Orient just pawn in game of life
Fair play though to all involved since an Orient side of old had been well and truly beaten after a first half like that with no hope of a comeback. The side of 2013/14 just kept on playing finally earning a draw.

Beacuse let’s be honest, this season even being two goals down you know that there’s still a chance. No reason to stop listening, walk out of the stand early or just give up. That’s why a continued push for a top two spot is the thing to aim for. Difficult but not impossible. More motivation than that surely isn’t needed is it? There are more twists and turns left in this season of that I am sure. With determination and a little luck there’s still a chance for this great Orient team to end in a Blaze of Glory (queue Joe Jackson)!

16 March 2014

From Bees to Bastards

So Orient lost this rather important football match. A solitary Trotta goal separated the two sides. Here’s my take on a game where I, for once, actually had a view from downstream.

If club crests ever where to start fights, the only way for Brentford to beat Orient would be if Wyverns turned out to be really allergic to bee stings. You know like some people are to nuts. Me I’m probably allergic to Alan McCormack. I find him really hard to swallow.

McCormack being one of two players on the pitch yesterday with ‘get out of jail free’ cards somewhere in their kit. The other one being Nathan Clarke. Perhaps Captain Fantastic plays like this every game. In that case I salute him for having powers of misdirection greater than many a professional illusionist. But what I usually hear is a lot different from what I saw. Walking off without a booking was lucky.

Lucky like Clayton Donaldson who seemed in a bad mood all game. Brentford fans have a point when they say Orient were favoured by the referee. But Donaldson could very well have been sent off when he stormed into that scuffle during the first half that saw him and Gary Sawyer receive yellow cards. As for who started it that’s easier - McCormack.

Speaking of things that are easy. The Orient front two was a case in point. Kevin Lisbie did a lot of running and tried to set up his team mates. Not complicating things but at the moment being let down by his goalscoring touch. David Mooney on the other hand has that touch but sometimes gives the impression that scoring simply isn’t enough. It has to be pretty as well. Frankly Moons we don’t care, just bang them in. Pretty can wait.

Romain Vincelot not only had a great game he has a pretty great beard as well. The only thing missing from his performance was a yellow card. The threat of that tenth yellow of the season hanging over the head of us supporters like the blade of a guillotine. Just pick it up already! Rip it off our worried minds like an old band-aid. Get those two games out of the way.

Marvin Bartley and Jamie Ness probably agree with me on the Vincelot suspension saga since that would mean more game time for the both of them. Orient have a strong bench at the moment. One that could cope with Vincelot sitting out two games. Looking at the names of substitutes this season compared to a few years back there really are names on there that can change games. Perhaps Robbie Simpson should have felt more at home sharing a bench with a selection of Geraint William’s players. He would have stood out like the obvious choice which is always a nice feeling.

As far as managers go my distinct feeling is that Brentford really need to finish in the top two. Warburton inherited a good team with tactics et.al. from Uwe Rösler. I don’t think he could guide a team successfully through the playoffs. Russell Slade could, I’m sure of that. But if I get a choice I’ll gladly let Warburton prove me wrong. When it comes to success for baldies my money is on Slade.

I do a lot of stupid things with my money. Gambling isn’t one of them. I do have an account on a large betting site though. With all of one hundred Swedish kronor on there. The only reason being that this gives access to reliable streams of football matches. Like Orient v Brentford. I still had Dave Victor on as commentator even though Orient World was a few seconds behind the TV images. As I understood it the Sky commentators were biased in Brentford’s favour. In those cases a sense of deja vu is preferable.

I would have preferred to win. But this loss most likely didn’t define our season. We don’t know yet what the 2013/14 season legacy will be. It may have been this game, or perhaps those three losses when Eldin Jakupovic went back to Hull. Losing Jamie Jones to injury. It may be a thing in the future. Vincelot’s tenth yellow card. Wolves at home. Promotion. A playoff final. Mooney scoring twenty league goals. There’s nine games left. History is yet to be written. Orient not ready to be written off even if Brentford and Wolves fans want that very much. It just isn’t true. It might even turn out to be false. Keep the faith you pessimistic bastards!

12 March 2014

A Space Odyssey

In the aftermath of two very different football matches I came up with a fun way to troll Orient Player during the next goalless draw.

When you go to a game there is always some sense of excitement. Even if you’re there as a neutral. That feeling of nervousness and expectations rub off on some level. This is true even if the match itself doesn’t offer much entertainment. There is usually something happening that keep things interesting.

If you’re at home listening to the game it’s a different story. Distractions abound, and those other things will probably cause you to lose interest completely. One way to avoid this is to make sure to minimize outside stimuli. The problem with this solution is that most people think you’re weird sitting alone in a dark closet with a laptop. Also closets have an annoying habit of messing with your wifi reception.

The Notts County game experienced through Orient Player was one of those drab dull games. A perfect example of why the phrase bore draw was invented. No excitement, no incidents, no goalmouth scrambles or shots hitting the woodwork. The sole word sticking in my brain after the game was - puddles.

I think that the memories of the Notts game carried over to the Port Vale encounter. When the commentary decided to go AWOL during the first few minutes, and Orient as a team started the game on the back foot the Orient Player natives got restless and made their fears known on twitter.

The doom and gloom of the twitter time line during the first 40 minutes of the Vale game was classic Orient. Except possibly for the lack of some FFS Ling exclamations and the fact that folks were moaning about only making the play-offs instead of flirting with relegation.

Russell Slade should be told, in the sternest way possible, that building expectations isn’t a nice thing to do. At the very least he ought to be aware that failing to score in over 120 minutes entitles to the use of a few heartfelt Slade Out! tweets. A Dean Cox goal later the Bring on Brentford messages quickly pushed the negativism out of scrolls reach.

The 2-0 win at Port Vale was impressive in many ways. The pure excitement of the second half, as it was portrayed through Orient Player, more than made up for the non-event that was the Notts game. Nathan Clarke’s first goal, Eldin celebrating the disallowed goals and that rare Robbie Simpson appearance. Breaking a 57 year old winless streak was pretty satisfactory as well.

Speaking of satisfaction I have a plan that should keep things interesting the next time Orient play an inept team on a crap surface and doesn’t seem likely to score. All we need to do, as a collective (I’m talking Orient Player subscribers here) is to turn the texts and the tweets to Dave Victor into a space odyssey.

We only tweet and text lines from the movie 2001. With enough people doing it the effect should be - entertaining. Here are a few examples to get things started.

The 2001 smorgasbord
@DulcetDave Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
@DulcetDave Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
@DulcetDave Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave.
@DulcetDave You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave?
@DulcetDave I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going.
@DulcetDave Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
@DulcetDave Thank you for a very enjoyable game.